Second Chance
by alliexbaby
Summary: Sara has moved on and started a new life with another man. But things change.. will the relationship between Grissom and Sara? Eventual angsty GSR.. First fic so all reviews very welcome! Thanks : .
1. Chapter 1

**Second Chance**

**-My first CSI fanfic, I hope you guys like it..please, please r&r.. I want to know what your thoughts are, any possible improvements etc. ... the idea for this story has been bouncing around my head for ages and I am finally getting it out, so.. yay!**

**-Obviously, I do not own anything related to the CSI tv show (I wouldn't mind owning some of the girls' outfits, though..) etc. though the made up characters are miiiine! All mine!**

Sara Sidle had never pictured herself as a mother. Well, no, that wasn't exactly true. Perhaps on more than one occasion she had dreamed of becoming a mother to a certain boss's children, but rarely. When she had been a teenager and all the girls her age dreamt of eventually marrying the man of their dreams and having babies, even gone as far as thinking up names for them, Sara had just let it go. It had never been something she was focused on-- she focused on first school and then her job.

Now here she was, looking down into two young, expectant faces. The faces of her son and daughter. Joshua Gordon Miller, her firstborn.. an adorable kid, brown-eyed and with what sometimes looked like straw for hair. Then there was sweet little Grace Amelia Miller, who shared her parents' and brother's brown eyes and her mother's curly brown hair.

"Night night, my dears," Sara said softly, kissing first her 6-year old boy on the top bunk and then her 3-year old girl on the bottom.

"G'night, Mummy," said Josh into the darkness as Sara flipped off the light.

"Niiiiigh!" cooed Grace, getting a giggle from her revered older brother and a smile from her mother as the CSI shut the door behind her.

Sara had never expected to be a single mother. In fact, up until a short time ago, she hadn't been. As she settled on the couch and turned on the TV, glad for her day off, she thought everything over.

Sara Sidle had pined for Gil Grissom for a very long time. Maybe longer than she should have. He had been on her mind to often since that fateful lecture he had given at Harvard. If she hadn't wanted to go into forensic science anyway, she certainly did after that. She had thanked her lucky stars that he called her in from San Francisco... but after more than 5 years of almost no sign he really wanted to pursue a relationship, she bravely took a deep breath, pulled on her sweats, ate a tub of ice cream and started to move on.

The charming, handsome new detective who transferred to the LV PD a few months after certainly helped. At first, she had been wary of another work-related romance --though finding out about Hank had sucked royally, she had known it wouldn't go too far and it had taught her a lot about herself and relationships in general-- James Miller had eased her fears and helped her start a whole new life. All of her co-workers, even Grissom (to her surprise) had noticed and commented on the change; they were all pleased at her newfound happiness. Of course they didn't know at first it was because of a man. She and James miraculously kept it quiet for a good 4 months. Finally, the office grapevine took its toll producing decidedly different reactions:

Greg- "So, Sara, I uh, hear you're dating that new detective. What's he got that I don't have? .. Ow! Was a punch really necessary?"  
Catherine- "Well I'm glad to hear you've uh.. moved on.. from Hank! Of course."  
Warrick- "Hey, girl, I'm happy for ya."  
Nick- "Good to hear you're getting out more. You deserve to be happy, Sara."

Grissom- Well, Grissom hadn't said much about her and James at all. But, at first, he did look a little wounded for a few moments before switching to a questioning look and finally a passive look.

The fact that it hurt him to know she was dating someone hurt her a little, too. If he had feelings for her, all she wanted was for him to say so. But he didn't. And when she realized she would always care deeply for Gil Grissom no matter what, it was easier to move forward with James.

James Miller had been just what she needed. He was compassionate and funny, and very good looking with deep brown eyes and sandy-coloured hair. He was only a few years older than she was, and about 6 feet tall. Sara was surprised at how quickly she fell in love with him; she had wondered for a time if she could ever love another man after Grissom. Well, as it turned out, she could. She had a great time with James and he treated her like a princess.. something she'd never experienced. Her childhood and teen years had been rocky and the only real longtime boyfriend she'd had was Hank. He had always been distant.. she knew why now, of course.

James took her out to an elegant little restaurant on their 8 month anniversary-- and proposed. It was simple and sweet and the ring suited her perfectly- just a small, square cut diamond on a white-gold band. She hated that as he slid the ring on her finger she got a flash of fantasy--of Grissom proposing. She hurriedly pushed him out of her mind --Lord, of all nights!-- and smiled giddily at her new fiance.

Fast forward 5 months. The wedding was truly beautiful with only friends and James's family with them. Sara wore a simple white gown --she'd never liked the wild fuss women went through with weddings.. why didn't they remember that it was the start of a marriage instead of just a big event?-- and had Catherine for her maid of honour. She invited a very old friend, Julie, to be her other bridesmaid- they'd been close friends right up until university graduation and had kept in touch.. or tried to. James's two brothers served as best man and groomsman. Nobody gave Sara away; it had sort of just started. It had been held outside, and not in a church. Everyone commented on what a lovely bride Sara made. They also cast sidelong, pitying glances Grissom's way-- his face was drawn and blank-looking as he gazed forward, eyes fixed on Sara.

Finally they were pronounced Mr. and Mrs. James Miller and Sara started her life as a happy housewife. They moved into a bigger apartment after they returned from their week-long honeymoon-- the apartment next door to Catherine, Lindsey and Catherine's mother! (Author's Note: I realize in Weeping Willows they had Catherine and crew in a house, but for story purposes, they downsized to a nice apartment.) Unbeknownst to the happy newlyweds, their family life would soon start too... the honeymoon hadn't been all walks on the beach and candlelit dinners after all!

So 9 months later, Joshua Gordon was born. Sara hadn't been too sure about motherhood but when they placed her tiny son in her arms, it was as if she had never doubted anything. She fell in love for the second time in two years.

The couple hadn't any idea on what to do about childcare, though, after Sara's maternity leave was up.. she had gotten him onto bottles after 6 months but they still needed someone to look after him --working nights was proving awkward to raise an infant. So, James' parents moved in for a year following Sara's return to work. But once the year was up, they were out of ideas. Sara and James had completely lucked out when Catherine's mother (whom everyone --except Cath-- affectionately called "Nana") cheerfully suggested she look after the boy. Hey, she was keeping an eye on Lindsey--why not Sara Miller's little one? So they set up a baby monitor in the Miller's bedroom, Joshua's bedroom and Nana's. It was very handy that she was right next door. She eventually wound up caring for Grace, too, when Sara returned to work after her second maternity leave.

Sara had thought her life was just wonderful. She couldn't have asked for anything more. And then, tragedy struck.

James had expressed a dream of his to Sara --he wanted to serve in the army, to serve his country in the war against terror. So when Grace was a bit past one, he finally decided to join up, and was quickly sent overseas. He wrote every week of the horror he had to witness in the war. Sara was terribly worried about him. Everytime he was allowed home for a few weeks they were rarely apart. She missed him very much, but never told him how against it she was; Sara wanted him to follow his dreams.

But the week following Grace's 3rd birthday, Sara recieved the worst letter of all: James Donovan Miller had died in combat. Sara had taken a week off to be with her children, trying desperately to explain what happened to Daddy. The one blessing of James often being overseas was the adjustment to his permanent departure, as it were. It wasn't too much of a stretch slipping into single motherhood and her friends were with her every step of the way. She had James cremated, as he had wished to be, and held a memorial service for him. Sturdy, reliable Nick, careful Catherine and kind Warrick trailed after her for a few weeks afterwards at work, reassuring her, but mostly themselves, that she was okay. Everyone walked on eggshells for a very long time following his death.

Now, here she was. The last 7 years felt like a dream. James had come and gone so fast she struggled to believe it was true. But Joshua and Grace were living reminders and proof that he had been alive. She took a deep breath. It had been only about 6 months, but she was still struggling with letting him go. Why was it she was always having to let the one she loved go? Just when she had thought she'd had a happy ending.. she hadn't.

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"Griss? Greg told me you wanted to speak to me." Sara leaned on the doorframe to her boss's office as she'd done so many times before.

"Hi, Sara. I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright. Was taking a week off enough? You're sure you don't need more time?" He looked directly at her, something she couldn't remember him doing very often. His usually emotionless eyes looked different.. what was that he was expressing? Tenderness? A wave of confusion swept over her.

"Oh, no.. I'm doing okay. I kind of need work right now," she said, and she felt the old tension between them return.

He looked at her for a few moments more. "Well, if you're sure. Remember to come tell me, all right? If you need a bit more time."

She nodded and walked back to the DNA lab. What had that been all about?

**I will continue this if y'all want me too.. PLEASE r&r! Thank ya :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Gil Grissom pinched his blue eyes shut. Sara had lost her husband a bit more than 6 months ago. Last week, he had suggested she take more time. 7 years ago, he would have expected her to look at him like he'd grown an extra head, but now, she thought it over, since she had two little ones to consider. He conjured up their innocent little faces... sometimes, in selfish fits, he thought that perhaps they should be his children instead of the ex-detective's. He knew that was horribly self-centred, though.. Sara had never really been his.

He wanted that to change now, though. He truly did. Over a decade of keeping her at bay --even when she had been available and made it clear that she was interested in a relationship-- seemed like a long enough to him. He felt so stupid, looking back! He was in his mid-50s now, and no farther in life than he had been 9 or so years ago when he bluntly turned Sara down. He had justified it to himself that work kept him busy enough. It really didn't, necessarily. Sure, he worked overtime, occasionally came in on his days off, but he didn't really _have _to. He just did to keep himself busy. Roller coasters were losing their appeal; he had gone on every one in and around Las Vegas more times than he could ever count. What he wanted now was Sara.

He had decided she would always be the only one for him about four years ago, when she was still happily married and had her little boy. She had brought Josh in on her day off to visit Greg. The younger CSI had been doing paperwork that day and Sara brought in her toddler to visit his idol. As Grissom watched from his office, he saw Greg tickling the small boy and had seen Sara's eyes light up at her son's giggles. It had all flooded him so suddenly; he loved her. He should have expressed his feelings to her years ago, but at that point he hadn't realized the magnitude of his feelings for her.

4 years ago, Gil thought he had lost her to Det. Miller. But James had passed away now, and Gil wondered if Sara had moved on forever and left him behind. New fears replaced the old; he used to worry about the age difference, now he worried that she no longer had feelings for him. She was in her early forties now, and as he'd once hoped, she'd led a life with another, maybe more suitable man. He was so confused now.. should he approach her? Or was he really too late?

He blinked a bit and opened his eyes, and was taken aback to see his whole team of CSIs in the doorway. He had been pleased that when Sofia left the lab that Ecklie put swing and night shift back into the one night shift.

"Um, hey, guys.." he said slowly, questioningly.

"Hey," they all mumbled back.

"Grissom, we were just wondering if we were doing the team picnic again this year...you haven't mentioned any plans yet..." Sara piped up.

His head snapped up and he held her gaze until she blinked nervously and looked away. "Right, the picnic," he said. "Uhh, sure. Yeah. When's the best time for everyone?"

"Mid-Saturday's good for me, that way I can get a quick nap in after, before shift," remarked Catherine. Everyone agreed that Saturday worked.

"Okay, let's do it at Bronson Park, like we do every year?"

"Can we bring our kids?" asked Sara. There were her two, and Catherine had Lindsey (who was in her late teens, now, but still liked catching up with her mom's work buddies.. she _had _known them since she was very young after all), and Nicky had a young son about Grace's age with his wife Lynn. They had married about 5 years ago and, by all appearances, were very happy.

At Sara's question, Nick and Catherine looked up hopefully.

"Uh-huh, and significant others, whatever," he replied, glancing at Greg who grinned widely.. he had recently gotten engaged.

"Sounds cool!" said Warrick, and they all filed out. Sara cast a look Gil's way, but it was so fast he couldn't read it.

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Saturday turned out to be beautiful. Sara came home at 7 AM as her kids were drowsily waking up. She made salad for the picnic as Dora the Explorer played in the background and her children ate cereal noisily. Around 8:30, she dressed Grace in an adorable pink sundress and laid out a nice t-shirt and khaki shorts for Joshua. At 9, even after changing out of work clothes into a pretty, seafoam green, summery top and nice jeans, she had run out of things to do and was jittery for the picnic. Grissom had turned her world upside down again with just a few emotion-filled looks and a few potentially meaningful sentences. She hated how just a look or a word could drive her crazy. How could he still hold that power? She had been sure she'd moved on, but she supposed she never really had. She knew one thing for certain: a relationship was the last thing she wanted from him. It wasn't fair to her if he finally wanted a relationship. She had tortured herself for too long over him. She would just have to figure out how to really get over him.

They had all decided 11:30 would be a good time for the picnic and she antsily stared at the clock. She had combed hers and Grace's hair at least 3 times and gone over Josh's once before he pulled away and griped that he was a "boooy, Mommy, I don't have to brush my hair like you _girls_!" She settled Josh in with his books, the kind with only a sentence per page since he had only begun to learn this year. She was very proud of him, he was turning out to be very bright and picked things up quickly. Grace was becoming a true girly girl, becoming obsessed with all things pink and princessy. She had started preschool during the mornings this year, and Sara missed hearing her little feet patter around the spacious apartment. The only time Sara really slept was the hour and a half Grace napped and on her days off.

She yawned for the millionth time and glanced at the clock again. 10:54 AM. Still a little too early, she figured. She repacked Grace's diaper bag and stuck in a few of Josh's action figures and a book, in case he got bored, as well as Grace's princess tiara and wand. Then she put some juice boxes, peanut butter sandwiches and two apples in a small cooler and went downstairs to pack up her SUV. She'd be a half an hour early, she figured as she folded up Grace's stroller, but she was way too bored to wait any longer. She made sure Josh was in his booster seat and Grace was safely strapped into her carseat before she climbed into the front and headed to Bronson Park.

She smiled wryly as she pulled into the small gravel parking lot and found Nick and Greg to already be there. Greg and his fiancee, Aya, were on a bench beside the children's play area, heads bent together, talking softly. Nick and Lynn were more rowdier, playing on the swings with little Andrew. Grace squealed in delight as she recognized her young playmate and took off as fast as her little legs could carry her. Nick looked up as he saw Grace approaching and waved at Sara. She smiled and waved back as she got everything out of the trunk. Josh trotted over a little more slowly, stopping to greet Greg loudly before clambering onto the play structure and zooming down the slide.

"Hey, Sara," said Greg. He had looked up at Josh's loud greeting and had shouted "Heyyyy, Josh, my man!" almost as loudly back. Aya flashed her a smile. Sara liked both Aya and Nick's wife, Lynn.. her friends had found great girls for themselves.

"Hi you guys," she said to the younger pair. She went over to help Grace on the swings and greeted Nick with a hug and Lynn with a smile.

"Andrew's looking good," she said to them, glancing at the young boy giggling with her daughter.

"So's Grace," replied Nick cheerfully. They all turned as they heard another SUV pull in. From the passenger's side a frazzled Catherine slid out, while a gleeful-looking Lindsey slid out from the driver's. From the back, Catherine's live-in boyfriend, Warrick, jumped out and high-fived Lindsey.

"Nice job," he congratulated the teen. "Your mom only shrieked _once_."

Catherine rolled her eyes at him and punched his arm. "Oh, _whatever_."

Sara gave Lindsey the once-over. God, the girl had grown up. She was attending UNLV and would be turning 20 in a few months. She had really grown to look like her mother: long, wavy blonde hair, bright blue eyes, a bit on the short side.

"Hey you guys," everyone shouted.

Lindsey waved cheerfully and ran to play with one of her favourite babysitting clients, Joshua Miller.

Catherine narrowed her eyes. "Soo.. everyone's here but Gil?"

Nick and Sara nodded their assent.

"If he forgot..." sighed Catherine, but just then, they saw his SUV pull in.

"Nice of you to make it," shouted Catherine.

"What? It's only 11:24!" Gil shouted back, dragging the stuff to the designated picnic site, two big picnic tables Nick and Greg had just finished picking together.

Catherine rolled her eyes and shot a grin at Sara, who smiled back. Everyone gathered around the table and set out food: salad from Sara, a platter of different sandwiches from Nick and Lynn, soda and water from Catherine and Warrick, and Greg and Aya brought KFC.

"Ew," complained Sara at the sight of Greg's tub of chicken.

"Sorry, Sara, he insisted. Said carnivores need to eat," remarked Aya with a grin.

Sara threw her hands up in the air in defeat. "Fine, but carnivore food goes nowhere near me."

"I brought a nice treat," announced Grissom as they all settled down. Grace and Josh wound up on either side of him, and Sara sat directly across from him. "Chocolate-covered grasshoppers!"

Everyone at the table crinkled their noses in disgust but Joshua, whose eyes grew as big as saucers. "Bugs?" he squealed. "For eating?"

Gil nodded happily. "Bugs for eating," he confirmed.

"I'll have some of _those_, Mommy!" announced Joshua.

Sara just laughed and served her kids a bit of everything, and soon everyone was digging in. The conversation was loud and happy and Sara finally relaxed a bit. Until she caught Grissom staring at her. She looked at him oddly and turned back to Lynn Stokes, with whom she was discussing vegetarianism. When she looked back to check on Grace she caught him looking again.

"What, Griss? Is there something in my teeth, on my shirt.. what?" she demanded.

"Wha..? Oh, no. Sorry." He shook his head and offered Josh another bug.

What was going _on _with him? Sara wondered. She was going to find out.. and it was going to be soon.

**Thanks for reading again, guys! Please review, tell me what you think.. constructive criticism would be appreciated :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Catherine popped up in front of Sara in the breakroom a few days later, nearly giving the younger woman a heart attack.

"What the hell, Cath?" gasped Sara, gathering up the papers that had gone flying when she had jumped.

Catherine smiled apologetically. "Sorry, trying to catch you before you left. You know what next week is, right?"

Sara arched her eyebrow. She nearly blurted out, "_Griss's birthday! Duh!_", but thought better of it. "Um, let's see," she said instead. "Today's the 9th, right? Lindsey's birthday was two months ago. Nobody's been promoted. It's the middle of August. Mm.. oh! Grissom's birthday?"

"Duh," replied Catherine. "Normally we do cake here, right, but I figured, 55 is kind of a major day! So I thought we could all get gussied up before shift on the 17th for drinks someplace nice. And _fancy _dessert, like.. cheesecake. Or something. I don't know." She shrugged and made a silly face, reddish blonde curls bouncing on her shoulders.

Sara laughed a little. "Sounds nice," she said. She hadn't been somewhere nice in months. Years, maybe. Certainly not since James had passed. "So, dress up, presents, pay for our own drinks but you'll pay for Grissom's as usual.. am I missing anything?"

"Sara Sidle, you really are pretty sharp. 7:00 at The Palms on the 17th, of course."

"I will be there." Now- what to wear? And .. present? 8 days wasn't long enough!

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Sara dithered around the upscale clothing store nervously. She had never liked shopping. What she liked even less was the fact she was getting all worked up over _Grissom's _party. She had found a present okay, a new entomology book she was pretty sure he didn't have yet. Still, she was wondering whether to write a message inside it, besides the card she'd gotten, which was hopelessly bland. It just had a smiley face with a party hat on and the words "Happy Birthday, Boss!" on the front. Inside she had scribbled, "_Happy 55th Birthday, Grissom.. Have a good one! -Sara_." She wanted very much to keep it to the point and sharp.

But she had nothing to wear out for a nice night. Half of her just wanted her to grab something prim, proper. The usual fancy-dress Sara-garb. But the other half urged her to get a little crazy --she wasn't getting any younger, after all-- and she figured it would be a good way to gauge Grissom's current feelings for her. Whatever his first, instant reaction was, she thought would be a good indicator, no matter how cool and collected he was afterwards.

"Miss?"

Sara whirled around to face a store employee, and was secretly a little pleased at the title of "miss". Everyone always said to her they could never believe she was in her 40s. Most insisted she couldn't be over 36. She always brushed the compliments off --("I hope you don't mean dog years." etc.)-- but was also always secretly pleased.

"Yes?"

"Were you looking for anything in particular? Can I help you at all?"

"Oh, my friends and I were just going out for drinks at The Palm in a few days and I really have nothing to wear. ... Not even shoes," Sara admitted.

"Well, I can help with that," the younger woman said confidently.

Sara tried on dress after dress, but nothing seemed just right. One would be way too tight, one too loose, one a bad colour on her, etc. Finally, she tried on a pale, peach-coloured silky halter dress. The top part was low-cut but not at all scandalous, and the actual halter part was just thin peachy ribbon. It dipped elegantly in the back and was ruffled a little at the bottom, which fell midway between her knees and her ankles. The woman ("Stacie", read her nametag) quickly brought out matching peach high heels. They were gorgeous and strappy, but not too much height on them (about an inch and a half) as Sara was already plenty tall.

The finishing touches were a hairclip covered with tiny peach flowers, which, when Sara twisted her hair just so on both sides, were very pretty, as well as a small (slightly paler than her dress, more similar to her shoes, which were also a few shades lighter) clutch.

"Lovely," pronounced Stacie. Sara turned to face herself in the mirror. She was startled at how nice she looked. For one thing, she reflected with amusement, it was a lot of peach but it worked for her. For another thing, her kids would never recognize her. That thought made her grin.

"With the right makeup, you'll knock your friends out," added Stacie with a smile.

"Thank you for your help," sighed Sara gratefully as she paid, squinching her eyes shut briefly at the price. But hey, when was the last time she'd pampered herself?

She bought an at-home facial kit as she picked up a few groceries at the little market by her apartment building. She figured she'd go all out, right?

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"Eeeeee!"

"Gracie? What's wrong, hon?"

"Mama, your face! Green!" The tiny girl gaped at her mother, who resisted the urge to smack herself in the forehead.

"Oh, honey, it's okay. It's just special cream for my face. It's a funny colour, huh?"

Gracie nodded, now more relaxed.

"MISTER, I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOOOUUU!" shouted Josh as he skipped by.

"Josh, no yelling in the house."

"Mama," her son replied in almost a scolding voice, "I'm singing."

Sara arched an eyebrow.

"I am, Mama! It's a Mulan song."

Sara rolled her eyes but smiled. "Well, baby, don't shout it."

Josh sighed, fully exasperated with his mother's silliness. "Fiiiiiiine." He went into the living room, still humming.

Sara could only laugh as soon as he was out of earshot. Both Josh and Grace were characters, all right. She went into the bathroom and rinsed off her face. She quickly swiped foundation on, and then applied a hint of glimmery nude eyeshadow, mascara and lipgloss.

"MAAAMAAA!" she heard Grace shriek.

"Whaat, hon, what is it?" she asked, darting out of the bathroom and into the living room.

"Joshy won' share his cars," she said, pouting.

"Joshua, you have so many cars, can't you let Gracie borrow a few?" Sara pleaded. She needed to finish getting ready, she was carpooling with Catherine and Warrick soon. Just then, to her luck, she heard Catherine's mother let herself in to look after the children.

"Nana!" squealed the duo, cars forgotten. They rarely saw their paternal grandparents, as they lived all the way over in Washington D.C., and they had only communicated with Sara's mother a few times before, via telephone. So Catherine's mother was the closest thing they had to a grandmother, and Nana was glad to act like one. She was really very fond of the little ones.

"Hello, my dears," chirped Nana. "I brought along a video we can watch!" She pulled a Winnie The Pooh DVD from her bag.

Grace and Josh's eyes lit up and they threw their little arms around Nana before skipping into the living room to wait for their movie.

"Thanks again, Nana," said Sara gratefully, putting in small diamond studs James had given her for her birthday years ago and pulling on her shoes.

"Well, I'm listening for them every night as it is, Sara dear," soothed Nana. "It's nice to spend some awake time with the little monkeys."

Sara nodded and grinned and went out into the hall to find Cath and Warrick. They were conversing softly by the elevator, Warrick almost hunched over to hear her whispers better. Sara smiled at the couple. She wasn't sure if they'd ever be married --they didn't really want kids, and didn't see the real benefits of a wedding just to have an official committed relationship, as they were already living together-- but she was happy for them all the same.

Warrick saw her first. "Daaaaamn, Sara!" he exclaimed, jolting Catherine by the sudden loudness of his voice and sending her whirling around. Catherine wore a simple, low-cut dark blue dress with matching heels and purse. Warrick wore a nice suit. Sara breathed a soft sigh of relief; she hadn't overdressed after all.

Catherine gave her a once-over and smiled. "You do clean up nice," she said, not unkindly, with a little smirk. Sara smiled in return.

"Well," said Warrick mischeviously, linking arms with both women, "check me out with my two best girls!" The two girls in question laughed before whispering almost simultaneously in his ears "best _women_", getting a laugh from the man.

They were the first to arrive at The Palms and settled into a small corner of the lounge. Sara ordered a grey goose martini, Warrick just went for scotch on the rocks, and Catherine got a Cosmopolitan. They spotted Nick and Greg at the door and waved them over. The younger men added their offerings to the little present pile and ordered drinks too.

Cheerful, light conversation was tossed around for a solid ten minutes until they spotted Grissom approaching.

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Grissom faltered as he spotted Sara and their friends. She looked beautiful, and most importantly, happy. He truly hoped she was healing after James's death. To him it seemed that she was.

He drew a sharp breath and then continued his casual stroll to their table. "Hey everyone," he said nonchalantly. "I'm not late, am I?"

"Not really," chirped Catherine, missing Sara's careful gaze at Grissom.

Grissom ordered a martini --shaken, not stirred, no olive-- and said amiably, "So.. presents?"

They all grinned and passed theirs forward.

Grissom picked up Catherine and Warrick's first and shook it lightly. He unwrapped the newspaper that covered it --"We were in a rush," defended the blonde-- and found a mix CD with all of his favourite classical pieces.

"Thank you, you two," he said genuinely, patting Catherine's hand and nodding at Warrick.

Nick gave him an expensive pair of Oakley sunglasses.

"Wooow," breathed Catherine as Warrick nodded, impressed. Greg flashed a thumbs up, but Grissom seemed as oblivious as Sara as to how nice the sunglasses were.

"Thanks Nick, mine were getting kind of old, huh?" He put them back in the case.

Catherine raised her eyebrow. "Griss.. you realize.. that those are really, _really _nice sunglasses, right?"

Grissom paused, and then gave a short nod. "Sure. Thanks again, Nicky," he said, just as calm and cheerfully as before. Catherine just rolled her eyes.

Greg passed his over next. It was a small box. "I was going to get you a really great CD, but Cath and Warrick beat me to it," said the younger man in his trademark energetic manner.

Grissom opened it. Inside lay two tickets to a baseball game in L.A. "Wow, Greg... thank you!"

"Yeah, I figured you could make it a road trip, ya know.. bring a friend, or.. whatever." Everyone cast Sara a quick glance simultaneously, and she glared at them over the top of her glass.

"Sure, sounds great."

Sara swallowed a big gulp of her drink before she took a deep breath and passed her gift to Grissom.

He gazed at her for a moment before she turned pink and said, "I, I, uh, I hope you like it," and looked away. God! Why was she stuttering? She usually only stuttered on dates, and this was by _far _not a date. Besides. She didn't want to date him, she reminded herself. Really.

He unwrapped the simple blue paper carefully. He smiled when he saw "A Study in Entomology" on the cover --only Sara would know that was what he would really want-- and smiled at the card, as cheesy as it was. He opened the cover.

Grissom-

I saw this book and, naturally, thought of you. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and more to come, and that you enjoy this book. I have a copy, too, and found it quite interesting. Here's hoping you don't have it, too!

-Sara

It was so simple, so Sara, that it just warmed him. And to think that she thought of him at all! It sent chills up his spine.

"Sara.." he finally managed to spit out. "It's so wonderful. Thank you."

She was still a rosy pink. "Uh, n-no problem," she stammered shyly. This was driving her insane. Why did this man make her so nervous and so comfortable all at once? She hated it.

"Anybody up for another round?" Greg blurted into the tense silence.

"Actually, I should probably go.. shift starts in a couple hours and I want to see Josh and Grace before they go to bed. Sorry to leave so soon," Sara said awkwardly. Everyone mumbled goodbyes.

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Sara climbed into her car and rested her head on the steering wheel. She recalled a lyric from some pop song she had recently heard.. "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?" That rang very true right now. She tried to recall a time in her life when she hadn't been just going, going, going, 24/7, and couldn't. Maybe she needed to take some time off.

She started the car and pulled onto the road. Thoughts were swirling around in her head. As she crossed an intersection, she was looking to the side and didn't see the truck as it pulled into her side of the street and, before it could pass the car in front of it and return to the right side of the street, came screeching into her head-on. She did, however, feel the weight of the truck and the excruciating pain as she felt bones in her legs breaking, before she blacked out...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Gil paced frantically. Everyone had begged him to sit down, him wearing himself down wouldn't improve Sara's condition. The other 4 sat on a long couch as he paced a rectangle shape around a waiting room in the Desert Palms Hospital. Catherine was chewing on her water's straw; Warrick's hands were clasped tightly on one of hers. Nicky was talking rapidly to his wife, Lynn, on his cell phone, Gil listened to them all and was proud of everyone, but ached ahis voice low and thick. Greg had his eyes shut and was leaning back, his feet tapping the floor nervously.

Grissom went over the past hour in his head as he paced. They had all watched Sara leave, and his co-workers had shot daggers at him with their eyes until he had changed the subject. They talked about Nick's little boy, Greg's wedding plans, how Lindsey was doing in college. She was interested in law enforcement, much to her mother and Warrick's delight. They were all so tied up in family and rather like a timeline; Greg was just beginning a family, Nick was in the early stages of his small one, and Catherine and Warrick were in the later stages. Everyone had somebody to come home to.. but him. It had to change, it really did, he vowed to himself.

They had all left around the same time, about 20 minutes after Sara had, and had pulled into bumper-to-bumper traffic. He called Cath, a few cars ahead of him, on her cell. "Can you see anything? It's way too late for rush hour."

"I think there's been a car accident."

The line of cars began inching forward.

"Oh my God, Gil," he heard next. "Oh my God," she repeated. "It's Sara's SUV, I can see the plates." His blood ran cold and he nearly dropped the phone.

"We should get to the station, see if anyone knows anything. Gil, her car doesn't look too beaten up, I'm sure she's okay." In the background he heard her instruct Warrick to turn right in the direction of the LVPD. "Gil?"

"Call the boys...I'm pulling over."

"Where?"

"At the crash site."

"And --what? Process the scene? You're not on shift yet, you can't just start--"

"No, Catherine. I can see--" his voice cracked; he could see the scene now, and what was the most painful sight he'd ever witness; Sara being gently lifted out of the car by paramedics. "I can see her. The ambulance hasn't left yet and I intend to ride along."

Catherine was silent for a few moments. "Okay... would you like me to drive your car to the hospital?"

Oh. He hadn't thought about that. Naturally, he couldn't leave it in the middle of the road. "Yes.. thank you."

"Anytime." And with a click, she was gone. He veered his Denali off the busy street and jumped out, leaving his keys on the floor for Catherine to find.

"Sir? Do you know either of the victims?" asked a medic as Gil strode over.

"Yes, I am.. close with the woman, Sara Sidle."

The paramedic squinted, and then smiled. "Hey, Mr. Grissom," she said, recognizing the night shift supervisor. "Well, Sara should be fine. She's bruised and battered pretty much all over, but her legs took the brunt of it. The doctors will be able to tell you the rest after they've been able to examine her further. I suppose you'll ride along?" Grissom nodded wordlessly. The young woman smiled soothingly and led him over to the ambulance.

As soon as he could, he reached out and took her hand in his. It was warm. She was still unconcious. It sent daggers of pain through his heart to see her bruised forehead with blood trickling out of a cut. She was cut up pretty badly all over; the party dress that had made her look so stunning earlier was ripped everywhere. Her legs were bruised so badly he couldn't even look at them.

The ride to the hospital was tense. He sat wordlessly at his love's side, lightly rubbing her hand with his thumb, gazing at her face, willing her to wake up. The paramedics stabilized her condition and set about cleansing her wounds to prevent infection.

When they reached the hospital, all the paramedics but one quickly rushed her down a hall. The last ushered him to the waiting room. Eventually, the rest of them trickled in; Catherine first, then Nicky followed closely by Greg. Finally Warrick came along and announced that two of the day shift CSIs were on the scene, and first reports indicated that there were no signs of foul play; it appeared just to be a freak accident.

So here he was, giant butterflies flitting around in his stomach. His blue eyes were watery but he fiercely blinked back tears. He wasn't going to cry, not now, not here. They said she'd be okay. He'd be strong for her.

But when the doctor came out and gave them positive news, it was all he could do not to collapse from joy and relief.

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Sara woke up and blinked a bit before everything came into focus. Where.. was she? Everything was white and pale blue. She turned her head and looked out the window at the streets below; and that was when it all came flooding back. She couldn't feel hardly any pain now, she supposed she was on painkillers. There was soft beeping from a number of machines near her bed. She smiled softly as she surveyed her surroundings; CSI must have pulled strings to get her in a private room.

"Sara?" she heard a familiar voice croak. He sounded so tired. How long had she been here?

"Grissom," she said. Saying his name was like breathing; it came so easily.

"Sara," he repeated, but this time it wasn't as desperately hopeful as well as tired, it sounded more relieved. "Hi, honey. How are you feeling?"

She couldn't help but laugh. In her drug-induced haze, she barely even caught the "honey", he had uttered it so gently. "I don't really know, thanks to the morphine," she admitted.

He took her hand and squeezed it. "We were all so worried, Sara," he said earnestly.

She felt so hazy that this felt like some kind of dream. Surely it was. She smiled up at him, and noticed his puffy eyes. "Grissom!" she said, surprised. "Have you been crying?"

He rubbed his eyes. "No," he lied defensively.

"Okay," she said agreeably. "How long was I out?" At that thought, her breath caught in her throat; Josh and Grace! She gave a pained look. "Josh? .. Grace?"

He patted the hand he hadn't let go of. "You've only been out about 6 hours. Catherine's mother put the children to bed and is listening for them with the monitor. Don't fret over them, she said she and Lindsey will look after them until you can go home."

She relaxed slightly. "How long have you been here?"

He shrugged. "As long as you have. I rode along in the ambulance."

She smiled again. "Thank you." She was feeling really very tired.

Grissom looked at her, so bruised but upbeat and he could feel his eyes watering again. "You look tired. You should probably rest."

Another sleepy smile. "Okay. Will you be here when I wake up?"

He let a tear slip down his cheek; her eyes were half closed already. "Always, Sara."

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The second time Sara woke up, her head was much clearer and she felt the pain a little more. She blinked and winced and smiled at the sight of Grissom speaking softly with Josh as Lindsey bounced Grace on her lap. Catherine was having a quiet but animated conversation with Greg, and Warrick and Nick were examing some kind of video game magazine. Nick's wife, Lynn, was talking softly with Greg's fiancee, Aya. Sara made out some words from that conversation. They appeared to be talking about children, which put a small grin on Sara's face. Greg as a father would be interesting to watch.

It was such a perfect picture that Sara wished she had a camera on hand. As it was, she took a mental snapshot and watched them all with a smile on her face. She shifted a bit, and groaned --apparently every muscle in her body was sore-- which was when everyone's heads' snapped up. They all crowded around her; Josh leapt up on the bed and Lindsey placed Grace in Sara's arms. Grissom stood back a bit. He was pretty sure she wouldn't really recall their earlier conversation, as she had been pretty out of it. She looked more alert now, and, much to his relief, a little better. Both of her legs had casts from the knees down and her upper left arm was bandaged up. Her bruises weren't as awful now and her eyes, so cloudy and tired 10 hours ago, were bright and alert. He had slept in the chair for a few hours while she slept for the solid 10 until a nurse had gently woken him and suggested some breakfast. When he had returned from the cafeteria with a second cup of coffee and toast in his belly, he had found everyone waiting anxiously. He told them she was better and the nurse let them all in, much to their surprise and delight.

"How are you feeling?" wondered Aya.

"Like crap," said Sara truthfully with a smile. "But I'll be fine."

Everyone laughed a bit and nodded. "We were sure worried, girl," Warrick told her. The rest all nodded their agreement.

Just then, a nurse whose nametag read "Jen" came in. "Okay, okay, enough visitors. Sara's doing well, but I don't need all you scamps jeopardizing that."

They all nodded again and filed out. The little ones fussed a bit, but Lindsey promised she and Nana would look after them. Lynn and Aya both promised to check in on the children, too. Sara smiled and thanked them until only Grissom was left with her.

"Am.. am I gonna be okay?" she asked then. He would be honest, he would know.

He smiled and it told her everything. It was a smile of relief, mostly. But there was something else in his eyes, something that looked like love. She pushed that thought from her head.

"You'll be in a wheelchair for about 2 months. They want to keep you mobile instead of just confining you to your bed. They know you have a family. But they're concerned that you'll be by yourself... so I ... I assured them I'd stay with you for a few months."

Sara's head jerked up and she nearly choked on the water she was sipping. "WHAT!" she yelped.

"Well, Sara, it's logical enough."

"Screw _logic_, Grissom. You.. living with.. me? And my two young children? Have you lost it! You _volunteered _to do that?"

He took a step forward. "Why not? I get along well with Joshua and Grace. I get along fine with you. What's the problem?"

"Well, aloud, it sounds just fine, doesn't it? But can you seriously imagine it?" Sara demanded skeptically.

"Yes, I can. We might as well try it, Sara. If not, we can find alternate arrangements."

His argument was reasonable and she felt her sensible side give in to the logic. But her other side, the passionate, emotional side, was having a harder time of it.

Finally, she said, "I.. guess so. We can try it." How would she _ever _get over Grissom if he were _living _with her?

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Sara was discharged from Desert Palms Hospital two weeks later. Everyone --Warrick, Catherine, Greg, Nick and even Brass-- came to congratulate her. They all helped bundle her into Grissom's SUV and saw them off in the direction of Sara's apartment building and exchanged pleased smiles. Every single one of them hoped they'd finally figure each other out.

Grissom carefully lifted Sara out of the car and into her wheelchair. She felt like she was on fire as he held her briefly and settled her in.

"Shall I push you?" he inquired amiably.

"No," she said stubbornly. "I've been practicing." She began steadily wheeling herself towards the door to the inside of the building. Grissom supposed speed would come with time.

"Mamaaa!" she heard her boy shriek with delight and just shut her eyes and grinned. Oh, it was so good to be home.

"Hi, guys!" Sara responded enthusiastically.

"Can I borrow your chair, Mama?" wondered Joshua. "It'd make a nice spaceship." He narrowed his eyes and looked it over to assure himself what a fine spaceship it would make after all.

"I'm sorry, baby, I need it for a month or two." Josh frowned. "But we'll see," she hastily added. It was hard denying him things as soon as she got in the house.

As Joshua greeted her, Grissom put his duffel bag on the pull-out couch in the living room and discovered Nana and Grace napping on the other couch. He smirked at the peaceful sight and returned to the entryway, where Josh was filling Sara in on the past few weeks. This year he was attending Grade 1 and appeared to be enjoying it immensely. Sara's children were as bright as their mother.

"Joshua," said Sara, "have you said hello to Dr. Grissom yet?" She added the 'doctor' acidly, and judging by the look he threw her way, he had caught it.

"No, hello, Dr. Grissom."

"You can call me Gil, or just Grissom. Whatever you prefer, Joshua," said Grissom kindly.

"Okay," he responded cheerfully. "I found a caterpillar on the balcony earlier and Nana let me keep it in a jar," he added thoughtfully. "Wanna see?"

Grissom grinned in spite of himself, much to Sara's amusement. "Sure!"

With the men occupied, Sara wheeled into the living room and kissed Grace on her forehead and brushed some brown curls from her face. The toddler shifted and woke Nana, which in turn woke Grace.

"Mama?" the little girl asked sleepily, rubbing her long-lashed eyes.

"Hey, baby," said Sara gently. "I'm home!"

"Mama!" Grace, now more awake, climbed into her lap and threw her little arms around Sara's neck.

"Welcome home, Sara," greeted Catherine's mother. "I'll head out now and finish that nap. Nice to have you back!" The older woman patted Sara's shoulder and left.

Sara glanced in the kitchen. Grace had scooted off her mother's lap and into the kitchen to see what the boys were up to. As she watched Grissom hoist her daughter up into her booster chair and then explain very basic bug facts to the young children, a smile slowly lit her face. Maybe, just maybe, the next few months could work... and even, possibly, be enjoyable.


End file.
